Over the last 30 years I’ve been to a few different gyms. The question I’m always asked at the first appointment is, ‘What is your fitness goal?’ Most people have no idea how to answer this question, myself included!

If the person is obviously overweight, then they are going to answer, ‘I want to lose weight’ and they may even specify a particular weight to lose or a size they wish to be. Sometimes they may say their hips are too big, their belly is too fat or, ‘I want to run 5 km in under 20 minutes’.

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Most gym instructors or personal trainers focus on your physical health, which is fantastic provided you are committed to your fitness for the right reasons.

All of this is fairly pointless because the problem is that the question, ‘What are your fitness goals?’ is simply the wrong question! It’s the easy question, the easy option. And it’s the question, the answer to which, won’t lead to tears.

The truth is that at the heart of it, the real reason that drives us all to do anything is an emotional one, and we will fail and fail again, every time, until we have addressed the core emotional issues.

I can tell you right now that when an obese person walks into the room, their issue is one of low self-esteem. How do I know this? it’s simple. We develop low self-esteem over a period of time because we don’t believe in ourselves. Every time we go on a diet, successfully lose weight, and then put the weight back on, we reinforce what the subconscious already knows and that is that we can’t be trusted. And if I can’t trust myself to keep to the promises I make to myself around losing weight, I do you more than just teach myself that I am not worthy, I feel it and I carry around with me every day of my life.

It’s a vicious cycle, because the things we do physically such as exercise and eating will be similar to the way we behave in every other aspect of our life. These repeated patterns cause us to develop low self-esteem. When we’re feeling down, we eat, because ‘food feeds the soul’, (but it also see the body) and we put on weight… the cycle continues… ergo, overweight person = low self-esteem.

The real question is much bigger than; ‘What are your fitness goals?’ The questions that should be asked are along the lines of; ‘Why do you have low self-esteem?’ – ‘When did this first happen?’ and so on.

Until this underlying issue of low self-esteem is addressed the overweight person will yo-yo with their diet and exercise year after year, never ever being satisfied with themselves.

Unfortunately your gym instructor is unlikely to be equipped the deal with the answers. Their expertise is in the physical body. They can give you the exercises and the timetables and they can often give you dietary advice.

The best solution is to work with the good life coach (preferably one who understands the physical as well is a metal requirements) and personal coach at the gym.

If you’d like to discuss your particular situation, feel free to purchase one of my ‘As-Long-As-It-Takes’ Life Coaching Gift Vouchers and let’s find out what you really want when it comes to your health and fitness?